


Lost Soul

by hanzoshimadas



Series: The Deadlock Kid [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Claustrophobia, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Young Jesse McCree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 20:38:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18582166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanzoshimadas/pseuds/hanzoshimadas
Summary: Jesse struggles with the recruits.





	Lost Soul

"Fucking Deadlock scum..."  
  
It had become a common occurrence for Jesse to hear phrases such as this during his day to day life around the Overwatch facility and he knew it wasn't going to end any time soon.  
  
The other recruits weren't exactly thrilled to be in the presence of a criminal, nevermind one who they saw to be a suck up to Commander Reyes.  
  
Jesse paused, turning back to the guy who'd spat the comment with threatening eyes.  
  
"If you've got something to say to me then say it to my face!"  
  
The recruit looked taken aback but held his stance regardless.  
  
"You think you're tough but we all know who really fights your battles for you."  
  
"You sure about that? I think I'd do just fine against a cobarde like you." He smirked.  
  
The recruit scoffed. "That's right, I almost forgot... there's rumours running round about you."  
  
"Is there now, you shock me..." Jesse answered, dryly.  
  
"Yeah, about you and the Commander. Funny how you suddenly just out of nowhere got promoted to the big leagues isn't it, considering you'd never stepped foot in the Overwatch base before that, and you certainly weren't in the recruitment program. People wonder where Reyes was hiding you all this time, and I certainly know what the most popular answer to that is."  
  
Jesse's fist clenched as his anger sharply grew.  
  
"Jesse McCree; a good fuck and nothing else."  
  
"Grrrh!" He growled, shoving the recruit back against the wall, pinning him there with an arm across the neck.  
  
"What you gonna' do you fucking wetback?!"  
  
Jesse landed a strong punch across the guy's face before delivering another in the gut, causing the recruit to gasp, throat still constricted from the arm holding him in place.  
  
"Oh, lo siento, ¿eso dolió? Crees que eres tan inteligente, pero no entiendes ni una palabra de lo que estoy diciendo, así que quizás seas solo un pedazo de mierda que nunca aprendió respeto ¿Te enseñó algo tu Mamá?"  
  
"The fuck is wrong with you?" The recruit tried to free himself but Jesse tightened his grip.  
  
"Me? You throw around slurs like a big man and then can't handle the response. Racist fucks like you, you're all the same. Fucking cowards!"  
  
"You're nothing, your words mean nothing."  
  
"Significan más que el tuyo."  
  
"Fuck off back where you came from!"  
  
Jesse pulled the recruit forward before slamming him back against the wall of the hallway eliciting a pained response. Dropping him to the floor he kicked him over and over, oblivious to the cries around him until arms pulled him away as he screamed and raged.

* * *

Jesse found himself back in the interrogation room only this time without the handcuffs therefore allowing him to pace the room in anger.  
  
The door opened not long after to reveal Reyes and Morrison.  
  
"Sit."  
  
The order was sharp and spoke in a tone that painfully said that no one was messing around.  
  
He did so, resting his bloodied fists in his lap as he sat back, avoiding eye contact with his superiors.  
  
Reyes took a breath.  
  
"Do you want to tell me why we have a recruit with a collapsed lung, internal bleeding, and a heavy concussion in our med bay?!"  
  
Jesse didn't reply.  
  
Probably not the best idea he'd ever had.  
  
"Now you fucking listen, kid. You are here, and only here, because I took a chance on you. After something like this it's pathetically simple for me to actually get you that life sentence after all. One call and they'd be here in an hour."  
  
Jesse squared up, hands out ready to be handcuffed on the table, eyes challenging them to do so leaving the Commanders looking taken aback by the response.  
  
"Do it, I don't care anymore."  
  
They looked concerned.  
  
"You don't mean that..."  
  
Jesse scoffed.  
  
"I absolutely do."  
  
It was Morrison's turn apparently as he leant forward, furrowing an eyebrow at the way the teen seemed to wince at the sudden unpredictable movement.  
  
"Agent McCree, you must realise how serious your conduct was? You attacked another recruit to the point of life threatening injury."  
  
"Oh I realise everything, I just don't give a shit." Jesse replied.  
  
Reyes scoffed.  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
Jesse shot him a look.  
  
"You don't know anything about me!"  
  
"I know enough."  
  
Morrison sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.  
  
"You could lose your place here over this, you know that, right?"  
  
Again Jesse seemed unfazed which really didn't sit well with Reyes.  
  
"What are you trying to achieve here? Is there a reason you're doing this, or is this just some kind of stupid teenage rebellion crap?!"  
  
Jesse growled.  
  
"I'm not a child!"  
  
"Then stop acting like one!!"  
  
"FUCK YOU!" He resumed his slouched position in the seat, crossing his arms angrily as he seethed.  
  
Morrison placed a hand on his friend's shoulder to hold him back.  
  
"Agent McCree, need I remind you that you are addressing your Commanders in this room. Such blatant language used against us is not tolerated and will only add to the consequences of your actions here today."  
  
"I don't have time for this. He can rot in solitary until he either decides to stop being a little shit and tell us what actually happened or we send him to max security, I don't care which."  
  
Reyes stormed out the room.  
  
Jesse's eyes widened as he looked suddenly looked gaunt.  
  
"No no please, please don't put me in solitary. Please!"  
  
Morrison looked apologetic but carried out the arrangement regardless, walking him to solitary and locking him in.  
  
He took a seat outside the cell, watching through the one-way glass as the kid truly broke down, dropping to the floor and scurrying back into the corner to lean back against it, wet eyes darting around the small unit as his breathing heightened in clear terror.  
  
"Please!" The kid begged. "Please, anything but here, please!"  
  
The cries cut Morrison deep.  
  
"¡Por favor! ¡Por favor! ¡Te lo ruego! ¡Déjame salir!"  
  
His eyes widened as he looked back at the kid in the cell now speaking what he guessed to be Spanish from having spent so much time with Reyes.  
  
Morrison pulled out his phone.  
  
' _You got something to tell me about this kid?_ '  
  
The reply came quickly.  
  
' _No, why?_ '  
  
' _Well he's currently begging in Spanish and on the verge of a breakdown. Could you come down here and maybe rethink this whole solitary thing before the kid goes out of his mind?_ '  
  
' _I'm on my way._ '  
  
Reyes arrived fifteen minutes later by which time Jesse looked horrific.  
  
"Llamaradas por favor! No les dije nada, lo prometo. Yo no traicionaría a Deadlock. ¡No soy una rata!"  He mumbled.  
  
Morrison turned to him.  
  
"Anything interesting?"  
  
"No. Por favor, no eso. Puedo hacerlo mejor, lo prometo!"  
  
Reyes winced.  
  
"He thinks he's back with his old gang."  
  
Morrison's eyes widened.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I really don't want to know what the 'that' is that he's terrified of."  
  
"Jesus..."  
  
Reyes walked to the door of the cell and entered inside. Jesse's eyes tracked to him immediately seeming to have snapped out of whatever memory he'd been trapped inside.  
  
He took a seat in front of the kid and sighed.  
  
"I think we need to talk kid, don't you?"  
  
Jesse nodded.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I got angry."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Porque odio estar aquí y los reclutas son mierdas racistas."  
  
Reyes furrowed an eyebrow.  
  
"I saw the way you looked at that room when you were first assigned it, you don't hate it here which means the second part is the truth. What have people been saying to you?"  
  
Jesse scoffed.  
  
"Oh, you know, the usual shit people say when they find out you're an immigrant from Mexico."  
  
"That's classified information, how did they?"  
  
"I've heard you slip into Spanish when you're cursing up a storm, well apparently I talk in my sleep..."  
  
Reyes softened.  
  
"You still been having those nightmares, Jesse?"  
  
Nodding seemed to really cut the kid deep, shame resonating across his face.  
  
"That recruit back there, do you wanna' explain what happened?"  
  
"Would it change anything?" A very small voice that was clearly trying not to cry answered. "I'm going to jail anyway, right? Do you even care what he did? I still attacked him, I still hurt him, I deserve to be locked up, I'm fucking dirt and I hate myself for it."  
  
Jesse punched the floor of the cell in annoyance, eyes moving away from Reyes.  
  
"Of course it matters."  
  
"Why?!" He challenged.  
  
"Because you wouldn't lash out like that without being provoked." Reyes looked the kid over. "What happened, Jesse?"  
  
He smiled a little.  
  
"You know, you, Fareeha, Commander Morrison, and Captain Amari are the only ones who use my name. Everyone else either pretends I don't exist or throws those vile words at me and I hate it. I hate it so much." Jesse's voice faltered as he tried to hold onto any composure he had left.  
  
"What are they saying?"

"Oh, you know, if it's not something racist it's either 'scum', 'Deadlock scum', or a variation of the two. That guy's back there's wasn't even the worst but I've heard it too many times before to not just let it go."

Reyes took out his comm and tapped something into it.  
  
"Action will be taken against the recruit in question I can assure you that."  
  
"Like shit it will, it never is."  
  
"Yeah, but most places don't have another Latino as a Commander." Reyes seemed to grin before holding out a hand to the kid.  
  
He furrowed an eyebrow but took the hand regardless, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.  
  
Reyes opened the door to the cell and motioned out.  
  
"Come on. You're on lockdown until further notice so no leaving the base, Athena will be monitoring you and she will inform us of any infringements. Also no training, including any in the range, and your gun has been confiscated until clearance is given for it's return to you, am I clear?"  
  
Jesse nodded with a still sloppy salute.  
  
"Yes, Sir."  
  
"Maybe you could learn how to do that properly in your spare time?" Reyes teased.  
  
The kid smirked.

* * *

A week later and life in the base was torturous. The other recruits by now had heard all about the fight and if they weren't just straight up terrified of him, they were even more scornful in their opinions.  
  
Reyes and Morrison had been pretty silent in terms of their communication with him leaving Jesse to feel ever more worried about the possibility of that jail time coming to bite him in the ass sometime soon.  
  
Maybe they'd realised he wasn't worth all this shit.  
  
A knock on the door tore him from his thoughts. Opening it revealed Captain Amari.  
  
She scowled immediately at the sight of him in his nightwear.  
  
"It is ten-o-clock in the morning, what are you doing lazing around?"  
  
"I don't really have much else to do, Ma'am."  
  
"Don't be stupid, it doesn't suit you." She walked into the room and placed down his revolver.  
  
Jesse furrowed an eyebrow.  
  
"I ain't authorised to have that yet, am I?"  
  
"Then what else are you supposed to train with?" The Captain replied.  
  
"Not allowed in the range either."  
  
She rolled her eyes with a shake of her head.  
  
"So boring, Fareeha speaks of you with much more enthusiasm than she should if you're this much of a stickler for the rules." Captain Amari grinned, knowing exactly what she was doing. "Meet me by the staircase to the range in ten minutes, and for the love of all things spiritual shave that damn beard of yours!"  
  
Jesse smirked as she walked off.

* * *

Dressed in his regulation training fatigues and less-bearded than he was ten minutes ago, Jesse approached Captain Amari.  
  
"Ahhh, so you are human. Sorry I thought we'd recruited a werewolf. Who ever allowed you to have a beard like that?"  
  
"It's called barely being out of my quarters because of a lockdown ban, Ma'am. Commander Reyes and Morrison never saw it to complain."  
  
"Knowing Reyes he probably wouldn't, especially not when it's his golden boy in question."  
  
Jesse winced.  
  
"Please don't call me that."  
  
Captain Amari stopped and acknowledged him with a nod.  
  
"Apologies."  
  
She headed down to the range and tapped in a code on the door before entering inside, closing the door behind the two of them and taking the rifle from her shoulder to inspect it.  
  
"So, you ever shot a rifle before?"  
  
"No Ma'am."  
  
"Do you wish to?"  
  
"Not particularly." He answered honestly.  
  
"Hmm, each to their own." Captain Amari looked to the revolver in his hand. "Not got the range on those things though."  
  
"Never been one for staying out of trouble."  
  
"So you'd much rather charge in there and hope for the best... you do disappoint me cowboy, I hoped you were better than this."  
  
"Cowboy?" He smirked.  
  
"Oh Fareeha never stops talking about her cowboy friend, you have certainly struck a chord."  
  
"I haven't seen her around in a while." Jesse admitted.  
  
"Yeah well when you land a recruit in a hospital bed you lose 'access to the child of the captain' privileges."  
  
His expression hardened.  
  
"I wouldn't-"  
  
"I know, I know. It's red tape more than anything. We have to prove that you've been dealt with appropriately to the confines of the code regarding violence against others in the base. In our report we couldn't exactly say 'he's proven to be dangerous enough to hospitalise a guy but oh yeah he's currently playing hide and seek with my five-year-old'."  
  
Jesse still didn't seem convinced.  
  
"Agent McCree, if I didn't trust you do you really think my daughter would have been allowed to continue contact with you? No. You are kind to her, just as you have been kind in the few meetings we've had together since your arrival, that's why I was so shocked to hear Morrison and Reyes' report about recent events, it's not like you."  
  
"It is, you just don't see it."  
  
"Don't feed me that shit, boy."  
  
Jesse silenced.  
  
"Now I'm no stranger to people making comments, but you have to be better than them, even if they say the worst things imaginable. You can't just use your fists as a solution to every problem you face, just in the same way you can't always use a gun." Captain Amari paused. "If someone gets mouthy you come and see me and I will sort them out."  
  
She took a seat, crossing her legs.  
  
"Sit."  
  
He did as he was told.  
  
"First rule of aiming, know how to breathe."  
  
Jesse smirked.  
  
"I'm pretty sure I know how to do that."  
  
Captain Amari laughed falsely before tapping him lightly on the arm.  
  
"Funny joker. No, how to hold your breath when taking your shot, and how to prepare to shoot. You're no good to anyone if you're feeling anxious so you need to clear out any shit in your mind that doesn't need to be there and focus. Focus on the job at hand, focus on the target. Breathe." She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling. "And fire."  
  
Jesse followed the steps, closing his eyes as he cleared his mind, inhaling slowly before releasing it like the Captain demonstrated.  
  
"Good. When he's around go ask Agent Shimada about meditating, I learnt the methods from him. He's a much wiser teacher than I could ever be, and the guy has far too much patience."  
  
"Agent Shimada?"  
  
Captain Amari looked concerned.  
  
"Please tell me you have been talking to people around here, and by people I mean the other agents?"  
  
Jesse shook his head.  
  
"Well we need to rectify that as soon as possible considering that you'll be going on Blackwatch missions soon. Especially considering that Agent Shimada will be in your team for said missions."  
  
"Wait, I thought..."  
  
She furrowed an eyebrow.  
  
"You thought what?"  
  
"I thought I was being sent to jail." Jesse answered, voice smaller than he'd hoped to muster.  
  
Captain Amari offered a soft smile.  
  
"You're not going to jail Agent McCree, we would never do that to you. Any claims otherwise will have been situational and spur of the moment on the part of the Commanders, considering the bust up recruit we had on our hands and you seemingly not giving a shit about dishing out said attack. You're both at fault for what happened and you're suspension is nearly up, I'm sorry if Reyes and Morrison failed to communicate that."  
  
Jesse looked embarrassingly relieved as he took a deep breath.  
  
"Thanks, I really appreciate it."  
  
"Then don't be stupid." The Captain smirked. "And what do you mean you've never wanted to shoot a rifle, it's about fucking time you learn then."  
  
Jesse couldn't help but chuckle as she shoved the rifle at him.

"Yes, Ma'am."


End file.
